Getting married is easy but staying married is not. You and your partner need to put in the work to make the union last. Sometimes, you also need to get expert help like marriage counselling to improve the relationship or overcome challenges hounding it.
Let’s admit it – no one is completely prepared for marriage. Often, couples are not equipped with the tools essential in successfully navigating married life. As a result, there are certain issues which they are unable to manage on their own, and this is where professional counsellors come in.
Marriage counsellors can provide a safe space for you and your partner to tackle hurdles in your relationship, be it about communication, money, intimacy or infidelity. They help you identify the root of the problem and arm you with the tools you need to resolve it.
Marriage Counselling: Timing Is Everything
But does it really work? According to one study, 75% of couples who have gotten marriage counselling said that it improved their relationship.
It should be noted though that the timing of the therapy has an impact on its effectiveness. The earlier you see a qualified marriage counsellor, the better your chances are of saving the marriage.
The sad reality is that many couples wait too long before getting professional help. According to a report, couples endure an average of six years of unhappiness before deciding to see a marriage counsellor. By this time, both parties already have deeply embedded resentment for each other.
While it is not impossible to repair a seriously strained relationship, it is definitely going to be an uphill battle. These couples would need to put in more effort and time to avoid separation.
So, do not wait for matters to escalate before enlisting the help of a marriage counsellor. Once you see the signs that there is something wrong, talk to your partner about getting relationship counselling services right away.
Signs It’s Time to Get Marriage Counselling
Relationships cannot survive without good communication. Both of you should be able to freely express your thoughts about everything, including supposedly sensitive issues like annoying habits and money. But this should be done in a respectful manner, without causing the other to feel shamed or attacked.
When you talk over each other or say negative things all the time, it is high time to see a marriage counsellor.
Similarly, if there isn’t much talking happening, then you need expert help as well. Unbeknownst to many, the ‘silent treatment’ approach is just as bad as yelling at each other.
Do you feel that you are drifting apart – that you are becoming more like roommates instead of a married couple? Emotional intimacy is essential for relationships to thrive. When couples are unable to connect emotionally, it creates a void in the relationship.
Physical intimacy is also an important component of a happy marriage. While it is not uncommon for it to taper off as the years go by, a significant change can mean that there is a problem in the relationship.
When speaking of change, it is not just about having a few intimate activities in the bedroom (or none at all) but also about having too much of it. Both can signal an issue that a skilled counsellor can help you uncover and address.
Absence of Trust
A marriage, just like any type of relationship, cannot survive without trust. Constantly doubting your partner can put a strain on your union. It is a huge roadblock that prevents your relationship from moving forward.
Admittedly, trusting your partner can be difficult when there is infidelity or a history of lying. But it is not impossible with marriage counselling and if you and your partner are committed to fixing things.
Seemingly minor issues that remain unresolved can lead to repeated arguments which are unhealthy for the relationship. These little things like not putting the toilet seat back down or not doing chores may seem harmless, but the fights that they cause can take its toll on you and your partner.
In these situations, it is not unusual for the other partner to be oblivious of the real root of the issue. Hence, he or she is unable to make adjustments to stop the fights.
A counsellor can help you identify the cause/s of these recurring arguments. Moreover, he or she can assist you and your partner in understanding each other’s point of view and find common ground, so you can resolve matters.
Seeing a relationship counsellor sooner rather than later is the best thing to do if you want to avoid separation. Take note of the aforementioned signs of trouble, so you can take action immediately.
Are you looking for a marriage counselling provider in Dublin? Our professional counsellors have years of experience helping couples resolve their issues and maintain a loving relationship. Call us on 015240708 or visit our website to book an appointment.